I’ll admit it, I have some birthday issues. I’m not the Ebenezer Scrooge of birthdays, as I love celebrating the birthdays of others. This isn’t a case of Peter Pan Syndrome either, as I was certainly glad to leave my adolescence behind me when I celebrated my twentieth birthday. There has just always been something about my own birthday that has made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps it has to do with the time of year. Even in my childhood, few of my friends were around in mid-August to celebrate with me, because this tends to be the time for last minute vacations and trips to the cottage. The main reason why my birthday has always made me uncomfortable is because it is the one day of the year that you can claim as you own (along with millions of other people, of course), and yet one depends on the recognition of others to make something of it, so it is difficult to enjoy independently. That is to say, I can have perfectly fine birthday on my own, just like I can have a perfectly fine meal alone, but I will enjoy both a birthday and a meal more if I am in good company.
For most, to enjoy a birthday requires the recognition of others, which can make it difficult to enjoy because such recognition can depend on so many external factors. I would like to spend the day with my closest friends, but that can be difficult when school and jobs bring us to different cities, provinces and countries. Also, birthdays can be really difficult to remember. My apologies to anyone whose birthday I have missed in the last few years. Sometimes I don’t even know what day of the week it is, let alone what the date is. Know that even if I miss the exact date of your birth, I wish you happiness on your birthday, and on all the days after that.
Technology has made birthdays even more difficult because Facebook bombards us with notifications about other people’s birthdays. In high school I wished all of my peers a happy birthday on Facebook because I would see them on a daily basis, and Facebook was the easiest way to send the greeting. Now that I see most of my high school peers infrequently, I only send birthday wishes to those I have remained close to. It’s not that I don’t want all of my former peers to have a happy birthday. It is just that they likely do not need a message from me in order to have birthday happiness! I don’t think you need to count the number of people who wish you a happy birthday, though it is easy — and when you’re younger, tempting — to do so. At the risk of sounding cheesy, it is about the sincerity of the birthday wish rather than the quantity of the wishes.
So with all of that in mind, here are some ways to have an awesome birthday.
1. Surround yourself with the people you love. Any day will be better if you’re with your favourite people. If many of your friends are too far away to see, enjoy the company of those who you are lucky enough to get together with. Alternatively, celebrate your birthday the next time you can get everyone together, even if it is a while after your birthdate.
2. Do something you really enjoy. Especially if many of the people you are closest to aren’t around, do something that you enjoy that your friends might not share your interest in. Make it a day for yourself, and listen to the new Gogol Bordello album or go for Ethiopian food, or even take a class to learn that strange new skill you’ve been meaning to pick up.
3. Buy yourself a present. Rather than wait for a friend or family member to buy you the gift you want, consider buying it for yourself. The same goes with a birthday cake. If you really want a cake, buy or make your own, so you will get exactly the cake you want. Or if you aren’t a fan of cake, make it a birthday pie or sandwich or maki roll. Often it is easier to pick something out yourself. Then if you want to share it with others, they will likely enjoy it more because they won’t look at the piece of carrot cake before them and think of the trek they made across the city to get the damn cake when they would rather had a black forest cake anyway.
The same goes with parties. Organizing a birthday can be a lot to place on someone, so if you really want to have one, consider throwing your own. While you will have to supply the beer, at least you will be drinking the beer you like.
4. Realize that your birthday is just a date. If you really want a party with all of your friends, and you know they won’t be around on your birthday, consider celebrating your birthday earlier or later. In elementary school, I celebrated my birthday in June because that’s when most of my friends were around. Choose one of your many unbirthdays, and decide to make it a birthday party.
5. Be realistic with your expectations. It is a birthday, not an Oscar party, so it doesn’t need to be elaborate. Also, realize that some things seem a lot cooler in theory than in reality. For years, I hoped someone would throw me a surprise party, until I realized I don’t really like surprises, and most of my friends know that. With that in mind, I would be better off hosting my own party, that way I can celebrate with all of my friends, without having to fear guests popping up from behind my couch the next time I enter my apartment.
6. Most of all, enjoy it! You never know how many you will get, so make the most of all of your birthdays.
Happy birthday to all of those born on August 17th. And happy birthday to me, because when it comes down to it, I have to celebrate myself sometimes.
Song of the Day: Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare by Matt & Kim
I tried to find an older picture to post, and though I nearly came across a birth day photo – I mean the actual day of my birth, that’s how far back this album went – I could not find a suitable photo. Perhaps my birthday wish should be for more photos of myself with cakes.
